Saturday, 24 September 2016

Late Night Chat

Hello Everyone
Sat here, alone, with so many thoughts running round my head, need to release some, may as well be on here.
So there is only 25 days left til my holiday and I'm shitting one! Bearing in mind, I haven't been on holiday with my dad since I was about 15 and also I don't live with him, I see him nearly every weekend but its only for a couple of hours each time. Since having my diagnosis of aspergers, he said he understands but I know he doesn't. I know I'm going to panic on the plane, I know my sister will be there to support me, but I don't want to embarrass him, I also don't know how my 6 year old half sister would act if I were to have a meltdown, either on the plane or in the villa. I'm scared, but anytime I mention anything to him, he shuts me down, tells me to stop being silly and that I'll be okay. It's a difficult situation, I'm hoping my sister can help me out if I need it.
I also don't think that some family members know that depression is different in each person, yes I may be laughing but inside its a different story, that I don't wish to indulge anyone in, as its my messed up mind, no one else's.

I recently had my 2nd year DWP assessment, basically, if I don't "pass" by there rules then they will throw me into work. And I know I'm 26 now and I should be working but I don't want too, I've never wanted too, I work better by myself, in my own time. I should be really going self employed but I have no motivation to make anything, its a cruel, selfish circle.

I've also realized that I haven't done an autism post in a while, its tricky, to me and my family, I've always been Emma, now i'm Emma who's finally been diagnosed as autistic. Yes, its my own fault for not getting assessed when i was younger, but for someone who was bullied for being different and just wanting to be normal, i didn't want to be known as autistic, and I know that sounds so bad but it was bad thing back then. But I now know how much my life would of been different if i were diagnosed earlier, but would i have ended up the person i am now? I think not!

My weight is also an issue for me at the moment too, don't know if you remember, but at the start of the year, i tried the slim fast diet then gave up because i was too hungry. Well, knowing that i'm going on holiday, I've found it so hard, trying to find swimwear that fits. As I don't have any money, I've been buying stuff off my catalog, lets just say, i tried on nearly every swimwear they sold, finally found one that fits but I hate my legs and I'm currently on the hunt for a pair of mens swim shorts that i can wear with it as well.
I know i'm going to be fat on holiday, I wish i was going somewhere cold so i could wrap up instead, its been so hard, trying to find summer clothes as its autumn, but i found a few bits, i just don't want to look like a whale in the pool/beach. Or have my family take the piss out of me for being fat, unfortunately it does happen and it does hurt my feelings.

In my last post, I said that I've started a bullet journal, well I did for a few days then I've forgotten about it, I will be getting back into it, might start a new week next week. I am looking forward to using it on holiday too, and afterwards you will get a post on it, so that's a bonus.

I'm so sorry that this post was so negative but I feel a bit better that I've written all this down now.

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter, im more active on there =]

Love, Emma xxx



Sunday, 18 September 2016

Update

Hello Everyone =]
Only 32 days left til my holiday to Lanzarote =]

I've been trying to get summer clothes even though all the autumn stuff has hit the selves now. I've finally found a swimsuit that fits, I have had to send 2 back already. Now, just waiting on pjs, trainers and crop pants. Hoping they arrive before I go on holiday.
I've started packing my case now, still need a few bits to buy. I'm so nervous about flying, but I'm so excited to be going back to Lanzarote and experience a week away with my family.
I am going to miss my cats though.

I've finally started a bullet journal, but wont be doing a review til after my holiday as it's my first time using one and getting used to it.

I also started buying Christmas crafts to make cards and handmade presents =]

I finished my online CBT course and to be honest, I feel no different, don't think it worked.

Not much has been happening, been watching TV and I've been pinning a lot, you can follow me Here

I don't have much to say, just wanted to write a post as its been a while.

Love, Emma xxx


Monday, 12 September 2016

Love With Food Box

Hello Everyone =]

At the #Livhelps event, we all had one of these in our goodie bags, this is a gluten free food box from Love with food I have eaten most of it so I will rate each snack.
 0/10 = yucky!

 6/10 = Gooey but nice taste

 9/10 = Love!

 Quinoa: 10/10, Brownie: 7/10

 10/10 = Love!

 10/10 = Love!

 8/10 = Not as tart as i thought they would be.



10/10 = Love!

I didn't know gluten free could taste so nice and I'm sad that I can't get most of these in the UK. 

Have you ever tried this company?

Love, Emma xxx

Sunday, 11 September 2016

My 26th Birthday

Hello Everyone =]
Yesterday was my 26th birthday =]
I woke up early, before my sister went to work and opened my mums presents.
He's a bobble head =]
These are adorable!

I had a good day and night, I spent my morning with my dad, his wife and my half sister, we went to harvester and I got eggs benedict and a mango and apple smoothie, it was very nice. He gave me my presents while we were there.
 Its so cute, it just fits in my hand but its what I wanted, he also got me an SD card for it, the case is a bit late for arriving but he'll bring it next weekend.
My sister got me £20 worth of Matalan vouchers.

After food they wanted to go in M&S so I popped into Superdrug instead and got a two bits,
After coming home, my mum surprised me with birthday cake and flowers =]


It was a bit of a wait til dinner, so I didn't do much. 

I had a restaurant booked for 7pm, it was an Italian, its about £20 per person so bargain =]
I was joined by my mum, sister and her friend. 
I decided to have a J2O mango and apple to drink and garlic bread for starter. 
Then came the mains, in this place, you order 3 dishes for yourself as they are only small but really nice. 
I had Arichini balls, caeser salad and carbonara. I obviously had to have dessert too so I got tiramisu.

My sister also gave me my present there too.

 Pocket sized purse

My birth stone - Sapphire 

I also received money from a few people which will go towards holiday stuff. 

I had a good day, good company and I cant wait to go shopping tomorrow and finally buy bits for my holiday next month. 

Thank you to everyone who wished me happy birthday on facebook, instagram and twitter. 

Love, Emma xxx

Friday, 9 September 2016

JimJams Review

Hello Everyone =]
I was recently sent these samples from JimJams through the blogger hangout.

Before I get into the chocolaty goodness, I will explain the company first:

{Kevin & Kelly Bath, parents of young children from Essex, were horrified to discover that there were up to 57 sugar cubes in leading brands of chocolate spreads. Conscious of their childrens health, they started to look for alternatives and found nothing on the market that had both no added sugar and still tasted good so they set about creating their own.}

JimJams first launched in 2014, only really supplying small retailers/ markets and fairs. But now you can buy them in over 539 Tesco stores.

I was sent a recipe booklet too but to be honest, I've only been having it on toast and OMG this stuff is so yummy, you can have a lot of it without feeling sick, unlike with nutella, I don't like nutella at all but I will be buying this once I'm finished.

The best thing about this brand is that they don't just do chocolate spreads, they make fruity jams too so I can't wait to try them too.

Don't forget to check them out Here or even purchase them in your local Tesco.

You can follow them on:
Instagram
Twitter

Would love to know if you've tried these?

Love, Emma xxx


Wednesday, 7 September 2016

OK Bouquet Review

Hello Everyone =]
I was recently sent this gorgeous bouquet from OK Bouquet to review. I could smell the flowers as soon as I opened the box and OMG they smell amazing. 

About: {OK Bouquet is owned and run by Rosario ‘Ross’ Rospo, who started selling flowers at the famous Columbia Road Flower Market at the age of 14. Having run his own stalls in London over the years, he was also in charge of buying flowers for a wholesaler from both Covent Garden and Holland.
Ross currently runs 3 successful flower stalls in Bishop’s Stortford, Hertford and Columbia Road, selling both cut flowers and beautiful bouquets. He has been described as creating a “masterly floral panorama worthy of an artist” on his stall, and has a long-standing reputation for selling only the highest quality flowers.
The idea for OK Bouquet came about when Ross noticed a gap in the online market for the type of bouquets he creates – natural, informal looking ‘big’ bouquets, bursting with the freshest, highest quality flowers and at an affordable price. That, along with a decline in footfall on the high street, prompted Ross to share his passion with a wider audience, resulting in the birth of OK Bouquet.}
I used my largest vase and prepared the flowers, I love arranging them, it's very calming. These are perfect for anyone who loves flowers. The price of the flowers depends on what you get and what size you want too, the price range is £20 - £75. 

These are perfect for any occasion and its worth the money to make someone happy =]
They still look perfect even after a week on and I hope they last for the rest of this month or even longer haha =] 

You can find them Here

Would love to know if purchase one yourself?

Love, Emma xxx 

*I was sent this to review by Socialberry. 



Monday, 5 September 2016

#10yearsofMococo

Hello Everyone =]
On Saturday the 3rd, I was invited to celebrate 10 years of Mococo at the Birkenhead store.








So much prettiness in one store, I've heard of most of the brands and I took a ton of pictures, wish I had unlimited amount of money so I could of bought everything haha. 

Mococo was founded by Maureen and Lee Hooson in 2006 and has been going strong since. It was nice being apart of celebrating 10 years with mococo. 
If you've never heard of Thomas Sabo then where have you been. I love everything and took a few pictures of my favourite things.











I just love how cute the charms are, and I wouldn't mind my own charm bracelet =]

I had never of heard of this brand before, but I did fall in love with their daisy pieces and daises are my favourite flower so I couldn't resist. 






Love, love, love Chrysalis bracelets.





I've fallen in love with everything, I took more pictures of pieces I loved.













I am so grateful that I could be apart of this, I even got a goodie bag =] 



 Uno De 50 jewelry wrap

 Thomas Sabo bath fizzers



I'm so grateful that I got a bracelet and OMG I love it, so pretty!

Would love to know if you own anything from these brands or if you have been in Mococo yourself?

You can find them Here

Love, Emma xxx
Thank you for visiting my blog, feel free to follow and comment, Emma xxx